Stressful Situations

Kellen had a Special Olympics bowling tournament today. Although his anxiety is much better, there was too much noise, disorganization and commotion for him. He hung in there for a few frames, but after awhile it was just too much and he decided he was done and wouldn't get up for his turn to bowl. Too many people pressuring him to perform. Too many expectations. We left early.

Times like this are pretty hard for me. Leaving feels a bit like giving up. I start to feel a little sorry for myself. Bad thoughts enter my head. Thoughts like, "If my son is too 'disabled' for Special Olympics, what can he participate in?"

As we walked to the car, I was feeling sad and tearful. While I was waiting for Kellen to get in, I happened to check Facebook on my iPhone. One of my friends who has a child with autism had posted as her status, "Christine is telling you to handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away."

Is it weird that reading that made my morning?

It was such a coincidence that Kellen and I had just peed on it and walked away and then I read that on my iPhone. I felt so much better!

So now I'm telling you to handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
Let me know how that works for you : )

Life is Good

Just a few updates:

D.Q ended up moving to the Ukraine instead of Turkmenistan. She arrived today?...or yesterday? and I read in her email this morning that she is safe, warm and happy. That's all a parent could ask for. I'm so excited to see pictures and hear her adventures over the next two years.

Kellen is doing so well...I keep having to pinch myself. It has been exactly a year this month that he was admitted to the hospital and he has come so far in the last twelve months. He has been working with an art tutor for the last several months. He goes to her basement studio every Friday for an hour of drawing. He is eager to go every week and thoroughly enjoys his time there. He's attending his employment transition program five days a week and has a caregiver after school two days a week until dinner time. He's bowling with Special Olympics once a week. We've created a Saturday morning routine of going to Starbucks for a breakfast sandwich. He's been losing weight (which is a good thing!)

It has been satisfying to watch his world expand from spending all day in his bed to having fun things to do every day. One of things I love to do is think of new things for him to try...things that will fill his life with activities and relationships.

D.Q.

My daughter D.Q. is leaving for Turkmenistan in a couple of days. Ever heard of it? Me either (up until until a few months ago). She will be gone for a little over two years. I'm looking forward to her adventures and hoping she will have access to the internet while she's there. I'm really going to miss her and the fun she brings to our family.

I'm hoping Kellen will understand...
Yesterday when she sat down to tell him she would be going on a very long trip, he said with a smile on his face, "I knooooow!"

Swim Club

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

"Be glad there's one place in the world
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go Where Everybody Knows Your Name" Cheers

Besides school and his work program, Kellen regularly visits a couple of places "where everybody knows his name". This morning I observed him handing out programs and greeting people at church. He gives attendees a program no matter if they want one or not. Go out to get coffee and come back?....get another program. Taking a bathroom break?...get a second program upon your return. Just try to get by Kellen without receiving a program...it's not easy.

Many of the people at church are very gracious and have gotten to know Kellen. He shakes their hand or pats them on the back and calls them "Tough Guy" or if they are small, "Little Chief". Since today was a special day, he was sure to wish people a "Happy Mother's Day." Church is one of those places where he feels comfortable and he knows far more people than I do. Church is a place where everybody knows his name.

Kellen also goes to the health club with his dad every weekend. They make the rounds between sauna, jacuzzi, steam room, and swimming pool. Nearly all of the employees and many of the members know Kellen by name. They enjoy his company, and Kellen does not ask much of them. Last night there were three men sitting by the jacuzzi....Sweet Husband calls them Kellen's Korean Godfathers. When Kellen walked into the room all three of them smiled and waved. Kellen went over and shook their hands. He feels a sense of acceptance and belonging at the club...everybody knows his name...everybody's glad he came.

Today in My Garden

Weeds

After work tonight I went into the backyard to do some planting and weeding. As I was pulling dandelions I thought about how much I despise weeds. Even when they are out of the ground...they still irritate my eyes.

I had amassed quite a pile of weeds when my mind wandered back to when Kellen was in second grade. His inclusive classroom put on a Spring musical and to my surprise, Kellen and a couple of his friends were cast as "Bad Weeds". They were dressed as cool rappers wearing camo and sang, "We are the Weeds. We're Cool. We are the Weeds. Weeds Rule! Weeds!"

That was a great memory. Maybe weeds aren't so bad after all.