When you have a child with Down syndrome, chances are you experience a strange brand of prejudice and stereotyping right from the very start. I call it Syndrome syndrome.
The grave doctor informed me while I was on the delivery table that he suspected my son had a "chromosomal abnormality", probably Down syndrome. From that point on, in the medical professional's eyes, my tiny son joined a unique club. Since he was a member of this exclusive club, they already "knew" many things about him. They "knew" he would have low muscle tone, developmental delays, and most likely a multitude of medical issues, both present and future.
The geneticist "knew" that he wouldn't live with us all of his life and that he would ride the bus some day. The social worker "knew" that he would not know or care that he had mental retardation. The physical therapist "knew" that he needed lots of intervention so that he wouldn't "walk like a duck" as an adult.
Later, the educators got on board too. They "knew" he would need to be in a self-contained special education classroom in order to learn anything. After all, he would get more attention there, and kids "like him" benefit from individual attention. They "knew" he would need to learn how to be "compliant" or there was no hope for his future.
Having a child with a syndrome as common as Down syndrome means that right from the start a parent must recognize their child and family's uniqueness and individuality and counteract prejudice and stereotyping wherever and whenever they find it.
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4 comments:
Fantastic post! I try so hard to explain this; I rarely ever get it right. Thank you for putting words to it!
This is a great post about assumptions, and why they are really just worthless. You managed to say it wonderfully...
Thanks, this is helpful to me. Our son has a rare "chromosomal abnormality"--rare meaning pretty much unique. So there have been times when I've wondered if it would be easier for him to have a diagnosis that's familiar to educators and medical personnel and just random acquaintances, something I wouldn't have to explain over and over again. But on the other hand, he comes into any situation with a clean slate--many fewer assumptions are made.
Great point. Sometimes though I feel lucky that there are already things so known about this well studied group since we never would have found our daughter's heart problems so young, we can avoid the fall out of hypothyroid,etc.. It's only the extension of negative assumptions that are really justlazy thinking that bugs me!
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