Ever So Slowly...Acceptance

Ever so slowly...things are getting better. Kellen is having better days. His mood is fairly stable and instead of the unpredictable pattern of good day/bad day/bad day...he is having mostly "good enough" days. Days where he can leave the house once or twice. He is far from the functional level that he used to be at...but we're learning to say, "It is...what it is." Kellen is doing the best he can and we are doing the best we can to support him.

Acceptance. It's a tricky thing. Dicey. Do we accept what is? Do we accept this new place? This place where our sixteen year old son does not go to school. Is not able to go to school?...or do we keep trying new things? Keep pushing for something better? Try to find the Kellen we used to live with or embrace our son as he presents himself? If we accept things the way they are...does that mean we are giving up? I don't know.

We take each day as it is. We encourage him to try a little more, but if there is too much resistance, we let him be. Always letting him know how much we love him and that our love is not dependent on what he can or cannot do. As his parents, we are accepting our own impatience, our frustration, our shortcomings, and our lack of control over the situation. As we move closer to accepting Kellen for who he is, we are also accepting ourselves for who we are.