The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good
This morning Sweet Husband, D.Q. and I were driving back home from having coffee together at Starbucks. D.Q. recalled a choice moment from last year that I had forgotten. She and I were approaching Target on a mission and someone with a petition asked me if I was a registered voter. I replied, "I are not", and kept walking. For some reason as D.Q. told this story I started laughing so hard and I couldn't stop. I don't even remember saying that, but it struck me as so funny. I guess I really do crack myself up. At any rate, it felt soooo good to laugh that hard.

The Bad
After dropping D.Q. at home, Sweet Husband and I decided to go to Walgreens. We had a good time perusing every isle. We ran across a shelf full of Jazz Santa's. They were toy Santa's dressed in Hawaiian shorts and holding a saxophone. There were black-skinned and white-skinned Santa's. Sweet Husband pushed the button on the the White Santa and it played a jazzy Christmas tune. Sweet Husband said, "That's nice, but it doesn't dance." I said, "that's because he is a white guy, now push the button on the black Santa." Sure enough, black Santa played the jazzy tune on his saxophone and did some awesome gyrations with his hips. "Told ya."

The Ugly
It is a well-known fact that D.Q. hates WalMart and McDonalds. She will rarely set foot in either place. The last time we shopped at WalMart together, it was several years ago. That trip was a comedy of errors. The main reason we had gone there was to quickly pick up a bag of hot dog buns. There were only about 4 bags left and every bag we picked up was sticky with a yellow substance, (leaky bottle of Gatorade?) Even I have to admit, it was a really bad trip. Last night we went out to do a little shopping at Target and didn't find everything we were looking for. We then had a discussion in the car and she reluctantly agreed to accompany me to WalMart. I told her that she was welcome to stay in the car, she didn't have to go inside. The WalMart parking lot is not the most pleasant environment after dark, so she chose to go inside with me. It was crowded and her anxiety was starting to get the best of her, so I was trying to hurry to just get what we needed to get and leave. I stepped out into a center aisle and was flattened by a very young WalMart "associate" pushing a very heavy freight cart. The cart hit my foot and I went flying. I went "splat" on the ground. It was ugly and a little embarrassing. I sat on the floor for a minute because my knee was hurting and I wanted to collect myself. A man who witnessed the spectacle was very indignant and called for a manager while the young associate stood there wide-eyed and shocked. I wasn't really hurt, just shaken up. I did give the manager my name and number and took the indignant witness's business card, and then we purchased our things and left. D.Q. was trying very hard not to laugh and trying very, very hard not to utter an "I TOLD YOU SO!" I was proud of her. I even bought her a Slurpee at 7-Eleven on the way home.