Do you ever just want to feel normal? regular? average? typical?
I'd say about 95% of the time, I embrace our "atypicalness" as a family. I don't mind standing out. I generally don't like boring or plain (unless it comes to a medical appointment...then uneventful is just fine.) I love color! I like flavor! I'll take different! Though I love all of those things...there are times when I just want to feel normal and have typical experiences.
I go to Target on a Friday night and run into my good friend and her husband out shopping together for movies for their new Blu-ray disc player. Our two children and their two children are the exact same age. We used to trade babysitting when our kids were younger. Now, they can go shopping alone together on a Friday night. They are on a "shopping date." I have just been out to a movie alone as I've been home with Kellen all day and now his dad is home to take over and give me a break. I don't wallow in self-pity in moments like this, I simply marvel in wonder. I forgot temporarily that other families...normal families...who have kids our kid's ages can leave them home alone and go out shopping together...and hold hands and stuff. Wow...typical. Sometimes it seems glamorous.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
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4 comments:
I kind of know how you feel. I have 4 kids ranging in age from 15 to 6. Lots of my friends' kids are in their teens and soon they will all be off to college and those couples will have time as a couple and even have those times now. Because I have at least 12 more years of kids at home - it seems I will never see the end of taking care of kids - being with kids (not that I am really complaining). When Alexis leaves home for good, I will have been home with kids for over 30 years - 1/2 a lifetime. I kind of know how you feel, but I guess I can't imagine it totally. I know it is rough, but I also know that you know what a blessing Kellen is - what a blessing all of our children are.
I love the way you write BTW - I always enjoy reading your posts. Take care - Kellan
I think that this is a good topic. It is an area where
there is room for grief....the awareness that
as a couple, parents of special needs teenagers/ adults do not have opportunities that others may take for granted. And there can be a loss of
romantic companionship that comes with that.
Sometimes I have been amazed at friends who take for granted their ability to be alone with their spouses and then are not able to appreciate that! I think that this is an area where friends/ church friends could step up and put themselves in our shoes. I was encouraged by our local newspaper tonight. A local church has opened an adult respite center in their facility. They see it as a ministry. I say, minister on! anne, onegirlfriday
I know what you mean. Its nice to know other people have had the same thoughts.
I call it the Starbucks effect. Every so often, I get an opportunity to go out at night (kids in bed, nurse on duty, etc.), and I walk into Starbucks. People sit around the tables, talk, laugh. I'm sure they have tons of concerns, but I don't see all the equipment I'm used to. I wonder what they're talking about as I order my coffee.
It's not really a sad moment: maybe wistful. Kind of a memory of bachelorhood: then I get my coffee, jump back in the van, and head home.
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