What Works

Sweet Husband and I have been married for 22 years this month. I guess you could say that we know each other fairly well by now. We've learned a little bit about what works and what doesn't work for the other person.

The last couple of days as I've been driving home from work, I've called from my cell phone to check in with SH. He has been ending the conversation by giving me a warning of what I'll find when I get home (as far as our kitchen remodel.)

"Don't flip out when you walk into the house and see a temporary wall up in the living room."

"Don't be surprised when you get home and see a trailer parked on the lawn...it's for the debris from the demo."

I appreciate knowing what to expect. After a long day at work it's nice to be prepared when part of your house is missing...

Today as I walked into the house I had a flashback, which kind of made me chuckle. This preparation that SH has been doing reminded me what he did to support me during Kellen's first year.

Kellen had four major surgeries on his heart or intestines in 1991. Sweet Husband is a nurse, but I had absolutely no experience with tubes, wires, medical equipment or even experience with hospitals. Neither of us had any experience with any of these in context of our own baby. I was very, very, afraid to walk into the intensive care unit and see Kellen for the first time after a surgery. Sweet Husband used to go in first and tell me what Kellen looked like and what kinds of things I could expect to see when I walked in. This was very helpful to prepare me...but even so, I would sometimes start by looking at Kellen from afar for a few minutes before I could convince myself to move closer. That year was a very stressful and difficult time for us...and we made it through by supporting each other and relying heavily on our faith.

Seventeen years later Sweet Husband is using a similar method of keeping me sane. Tell me what I'll see before I actually see it and give me time to process...that's what works.