Saturday Ramblings

Kellen has been doing much better since Tuesday afternoon. In fact, he is closer to his typical self then he has been for the last six months. I am crossing my fingers (when I'm not typing)that we're on the right path towards putting anxiety and depression into the distant past.

Since Kellen is more functional, we are urging him to get out of the house more and to participate in some normal day-to-day activities. This afternoon Kellen and I ventured out into the dark, rainy day to run some errands together. As usual, his motivation to get in the car was a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich...so we headed there first. After passing through the drive-thru, we drove back to our neighborhood to fill up on gas. The gas station was really crowded and I so I pulled up behind a mini-van to wait my turn. After a good long wait I noticed that the mini-van was sitting there with its motor running and no one was getting out to pump gas. Feeling bold, I walked up to the driver's side window and saw a woman talking on her cell phone. I gently knocked on the window and she turned her head and saw me. After a couple more minutes, she finishes her call and opens her car door only to tell me that she hasn't filled up yet. I gave her an exasperated look and then got back into my car to pull up to another pump. Then I decided I could just come back later as I was kind of embarrassed by my impatience with the cell phone woman.

Next, I drove to a shopping center across the street and left Kellen in the car while I ran into the hardware store. Earlier this morning I had been there to get a key made and when I tried it in the front door of my house, it hadn't worked. A different clerk waited on me this time, a man in his twenties. While I'm waiting for him to make a new key, in walks the cell phone lady from the gas station. Inside I am thinking, "What?? Arggg! I was trying to avoid running into her and so I came here instead of filling up at a different pump. How did she get here so fast? What are the chances that she would also be going to the hardware store? You would think I lived in a small town or something. Must. Avoid. Eye contact."

After the young hardware guy made the key, he asks me rather loudly, "Do you remember who made this key for you this morning?" I pointed to the older salt and pepper haired man at the cash register nearby. I felt really bad for him, because there was a group of people waiting in line and all eyes turned on him. "What'd I do?" he said in surprise. I made a quick exit avoiding eye contact with oblivious cell phone lady.

After leaving the hardware store, I asked Kellen if he wanted to go home or go to the grocery store. He seemed okay with going to the grocery store, so I thought we'd give it a try. When we got there I gave him the option of waiting in the car or going in. He elected to go into the store with me. Grocery stores can be really anxiety provoking for him these days, so I was pleased that he was feeling confident enough to go inside. Unfortunately he could not be coaxed into leaving his sunglasses in the car, so I choose to shrug and let it go.

Kellen loves to push the shopping cart, the only thing is, he only has one gear and that is "drive." He also needs a little support to maneuver the cart without running into anything or more importantly, anybody. It is a challenge to do my grocery shopping with a cart that doesn't pause. We end up with Kellen at the head of the cart and me with me holding onto the tail. That way I can kind of guide and direct it when needed. When I need to grab an item, I slowly let go of the cart, run and grab it, and put my hand back on the cart before he runs it into anyone. It must look very funny! Not to mention the fact that my son is wearing dark glasses, indoors,on a cloudy, rainy day. He looked like a very pale Stevie Wonder.

So, we're in the cheese isle and a man about my age comes over and says, "Excuse me. Do you know if you use Velveeta or regular cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches?" Now, I've heard a few grocery store pick-up lines, but I'm not sure that's what this was. He looked so sincere. I said, "Well, I think you can use either." He responds with another question, "Which one is better?" I'm thinking: Is this guy for real? "Ummm...I think I would use regular cheese," as I head off a cart about to be bashed into my ankle by Stevie Wonder.

Finally it's time to wait in line to check-out. As we're waiting I can tell Kellen is starting to get really anxious. When I think about, there is so much stimulation going on in a grocery store. I think it was getting to be too much for him. Of course, we are in the slowest line in the store. As Kellen is getting more and more anxious it starts to feel like a volcano with pressure building. I am thinking, "We need to get out of here before he blows!" Of couse, this thought line is starting to make me really anxious! Luckily he is able to keep it together and we make a graceful exit.

I told you he is doing better!