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Ever since he could talk, Kellen has had a love affair with the word "No." I don't remember for sure if it was one of his first words...but I'm willing to bet it was. Like many toddlers with Down syndrome (and without), he learned to sign words before he could say them intelligibly. He never needed to learn the sign for "no"...because at an early age, he could say it. Clearly. Intelligibly. Anyone who was willing to listen could understand it.

No. No way...NO. NO! NO-WAH!

The "NOOOO-WAAH" stage went on forever. Years. I got so tired of hearing it. I used to walk around the house singing that old vacation Bible school song, "Who built the ark? No-ah! No-ah! Who built the arc? Brother No-ah built the arc."

Then I learned a little more about his use of "No." It was powerful. Not only was it powerful to say, but it bought him time. With his intellectual disability comes slower processing time. It take him longer to process what you've just said and formulate his response. Just like a broadcaster on the radio, he fears dead air space, so he would quickly fill it with "no." I caught on to this phenomenon when I would ask him if he wanted something that I knew he loved, such as a Popsicle, and he would say "no", then a few seconds later, after he had a chance to process what I said, change his answer to an emphatic "yes!"

His preschool and kindergarten teachers role-modeled for me how to work with Kellen without over-using the word "no." Instead of saying "no, no" all the time, they would communicate to Kellen what they wanted him to do instead. "Keep your hands to yourself." "Quiet feet, please." "Stop." "Wait." I discovered how effective it was to stop using the word "no" and started saying "yes" to a much more positive communication style.

"You want to go outside?"
"Yes, you can go outside, after we eat lunch."

Gradually as he learned more words, I learned to be more patient and give him the time he needs to process, and stopped saying "no" so much myself, Kellen has stopped saying "no" as often. Yes!