Strong Women

I was reading what Kate shared at Sweet and Salty today and it got me thinking...how has what I've been through this year affected my understanding of what it is to be a strong woman?

For those of you who may be new to this blog...let me do a quick recap. This past year my 17 year old son with an intellectual disability had what they used to call in the olden days a "nervous breakdown." I don't know what they call it these days...a major decompensation? We've battled severe anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and he had a significant regression in skills...especially self-care and independence skills. My son basically lost his personality and all coping skills. For nearly three days, he stopped eating and drinking. For the last ten months it has been as if my son's nerve endings were left unprotected on the surface of his skin. He could not even endure a shower without his entire body shaking afterwards. When I say we've battled...I do mean we. This has affected our entire family...deeply.

My son's personality is normally so large it fills a room. His sense of humor was legendary. The loss of that was a great loss for our family and those who are close to us. It gave me a small sense of what it must be like to lose a child or live with someone whose personality has been completely changed due to a traumatic brain injury. My heart broke into tiny pieces and it was very difficult to get through each day. What made things harder was the uncertainty. I did not know if this loss was temporary or permanent. I had no idea if it would last weeks or years. We'd have one encouraging day only to be followed by three days of further regression. Imagine being forced onto a roller coaster in the dark. A speeding roller coaster that was housed inside a frightening haunted house. Trying to hold on as best you can and hoping against hope that it will end soon...but it doesn't.

Now, finally, things are much better. We've turned the corner and exited the building out into the sunlight. We recognize our son...this funny guy with a smile on his face. He is affectionate again...animated and interactive.

Back to the question...How has what I've been through this year affected my understanding of what it is to be a strong woman?

I understand now how deeply my strength as a woman is tied to my faith in my God. Without this faith I would not have had the hope I needed to endure the last few months. The hope that things would eventually get better (despite months of things getting worse.) Trusting that if my son didn't get better...life would go on and we'd find a new normal. We wouldn't be given more than we could endure. We'd find a way to make it as a family who still loves each other. A family who will never give up on one of it's members.

I write about my strength today in order to give you strength.

Go conquer your world!