I have a mental block. One that I haven't been able to work through yet....and it's been a good long time.
You see, we need someone to be at our house after school a couple of days a week. We need someone to provide care for Kellen occasionally on the weekends. We really need someone to help us out during the summer months so we can go to work and Kellen can have fun things to do.
It is amazing. It is even hard for me to type the words "need someone" and "provide care". I think I have it solidly in my mind that Kellen's family is supposed to provide his care. We aren't supposed to need other people. A sixteen year old should be gaining his independence and this feels like going backwards.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I work through this? I know that this way of thinking is not reality. We can't go on like this forever. It is really stressful for me to continually try to juggle things and race home from the city to beat the school bus. How can I change how I think and how I feel so that our lives can be better?
6 comments:
It would no longer be "mothering" but rather "mentoring" if someone else were to provide care for Kellen. Doesn't that seem like a bit of liberation in itself? How cool would it be to be able to bring someone else into his social circle!
Jodi, is it possible for you or Kellen's dad to do some work from home and send it in via computer? Maybe even only 4 hour/week--which would take care of one or two of the after-school days.
As for summer, I see what you mean. In this area, United Cerebral Palsy provides respite care---but you have to get on a waiting list. Do you have anything like that?
Didn't you once write about your church and how Kellen likes to go (donuts with sprinkles had something to do with it, I think)? Is there someone from the church that would spend some summer days with Kellen? Is there camp?
Do you know any other families of kids with disabilities and how they get around this problem?
Chris and Vic
Thanks anonymous, way to reframe things for me! That's the kind of focus I need, on how this will benefit Kellen.
Chris, I already do a lot of work from home, but there are many times that I need to attend IEP meetings with families during the after school hours or do home visits. We are going to think about how we could involve people at our church, Thanks!
I guess I didn't know your work---you are a parent advocate? A lawyer? An educator? A school psychologist?
I am a nurse in women's health---especially NICU and post-partum. And I am a nursing instructor at a well-known midwest private woman's college.
I have the luxury of a very flexible schedule---I work weekend nights as a bedside nurse, and I work 2 5-hour days a week with students, but get home by 1 p.m.
Chris and Vic
Chris and Vic
I wonder what it means to you, deep down, to acknowledge that you need outside help with Kellen... I think when you figure that out, the block might just disappear.
I love the idea of 'Mentoring'. Maybe like a high school or college boy, someone with whom Kellen could have a different type of relationship...not a parent, per se, but an older friend...
It sounds terrific, now to find the person?
And thanks for posting about this. As I said earlier, Kellen reminds me so much of Avery. I'll store this mentor idea away for when we need it...
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